⌜ 𝗒𝗋10𝖺𝗇𝖽𝖻𝖾𝗒𝗈𝗇𝖽.𝖼𝗈𝗆 ⌟

If I had a dollar for everytime I went through friendship drama, I wouldn’t be here right now. That might seem like an exaggeration but it isn’t. Before now, I’d jump on any -ship leading anywhere whether it was destined for success or failure.

A lot of the friends I thought I had, turned out not to be real friends at all. Looking back, I realize that some of them only kept me around because I was useful to them. they weren’t really interested in knowing me for who I was.

At the time, I didn’t notice it because I was just happy to be included, but over time, I started to feel drained. Those so-called friendships felt one-sided, like I was putting in all the effort while they just took what they needed. It hurt to realize that, but it also taught me an important lesson: real friends don’t stay around for just what you can give them, they stay because they value you as a person.

I really didn’t have a firm foundation when it came to friendships and as someone who struggles to make friends, I wasn’t exactly “picky” when it came to picking and choosing the right bunch. I’d quite literally pick any bunny that jumped into my basket. And that’s not right. As teens, friendship plays a crucial role in development. Whether it’s having a study partner or a shoulder to cry on, we all need our special someone.

Friendship is such a huge part in growing up and it’s not always easy which is why I’m here to share some of the high and lows of friendship as well as what I’ve learned along the way. If this is something you think you can relate to, then here we go!

When I first joined my current school, I knew practically no one. It felt lonely coming into a new school and really just starting a new year by myself. For a while I struggled finding the right group of friends and even had to let go of some of the people I thought were my friends. It was really hard adjusting but with time, I seemed to have got the hang of it.

Up until Year 8. 8th grade really stuck out to me because this was where I realised who fake friends really were. From the subtle backhanded compliments to the straight up insults to your face, it’s safe to say I’ve seen it all. To me and to other people. Maybe they didn’t even realise what they were doing was wrong and that’s another whole problem to get into.

Fake friends will drain the life out of you and as someone who struggles with saying no to people, I found myself drowning in piles of work meant for other people to do. Simply because I couldn’t say no. And it’s not like these same set of people would take time out of their day to help me when I needed it. No, I was just a convenience for them. A simpler way of avoiding work.

When Year 8 ended, I promised myself to look out for me and for a while, I was doing great. I was on top, well, doing reasonably well in my academics and it seemed I had finally gotten the hang of it. Until the requests started falling in. ”Oh, Kayla, can you help with this?” “It’s not that hard, just make this for me.” And before long, I had fallen back into the habit of doing things for people even when I wasn’t supposed to.

Friendships at the beginning are pretty simple, you find a common interest and vibe over that. It could be the same taste in movies, music or even subject choices.

The best friendships feel natural, almost as if you’ve found your other half. From late night calls, to random memes and talking for hours on end about anything and everything under the sun. It feels pretty magical for the most part; like you’ve finally find your person or people to bond with.

These friends always have your back, whether it’s supporting your decisions or going along with you plans but they will still of course give you the hard truth when you need to hear it. Real friends respect you boundaries and opinions, never making you feel guilty for saying no.

Real friends celebrate all your victories whether little or small and always validate your opinions, even when they may seem a little silly. That’s the power real friendships have. They build, not tear down.

Not all that glitters is gold. The same thing goes with friendships. Not everyone who smiles at you and claims to be your friend is actually good for you. Some people are just toxic and that’s the plain, hard truth. These kinds of “friends” come into your life just to spread negativity.

Not all friendships start that way. Some friendships may seem exciting at first, up until you start noticing the red flags like feeling drained after hanging out with them or realising they only reach out when they need something. And after a while, you realize you’re doing most of the giving without getting anything in return.

Fake friends can quite literally pull you down. I’m talking self=esteem, confidence and just overall well being. These set of individuals can pressure you into doing things you wouldn’t ordinarily do, leaving you feeling drained, burned out or stressed.

Friendships are one of the most beautiful and rewarding things in life. Some of the bonds you make in your teens year continue on into adulthood. Friendship is all about laughter, support and being a vessel of hope in someone’s life. But it’s not always easy.

It’s okay to outgrow people. You should always keep the best people for you in your inner circle. No one’s perfect and with time, you’ll understand what kinds of people you want in your space and others you just need to let go of. Quality over quantity.

So, take a moment to appreciate your real friends. Call them up, see how they’re doing. Maybe just send a quick text to check up on them. And if you’re holding onto someone who’s not doing you justice, remember, it’s perfectly fine to draw the line.